Yesterday the year fours went to Motat on an old school bus, to learn about exciting inventions.
When we arrived at Motat I got so excited because it was going to be so fun.
On our trip we went in the mirror Maze it was so fun when we got in I got dizzy but then i found my way out.
As soon as we finished all of the activities we went back to the meeting room during a little while we went on the tram it was so fun.
Waiting patiently we waited for our bus we said goodbye to the instructors then we left back to school.
Waiting patiently we waited for our bus we said goodbye to the instructors then we left back to school.
That's great you got your Motat writing published and you have reflected about the ways you have tried to make your paragraphs effective. Do you think you could come up with 1-2 things that you could focus on for your next piece of writing?
ReplyDelete(Perhaps the things you had a few 'no' s beside for your reflection.)
I can see you only wrote 1 sentence for each paragraph so perhaps that should be one of them as it is hard to have varied beginnings for each paragraph if you only have 1 sentence.)
Well done though.